I am not a fan of science fiction. This does not mean that I don’t like science fiction or won’t watch it. Just that I’m not a fan. Growing up there was little room left in my little fan heart for anything other than superheroes and as a fan I felt it was my duty to ignore anything else that wasn’t my singular obsession.
If you’re anything like me you hate top ten lists. More so, you hate how critics bemoan having to do top ten lists at the end of every year.
Movies are the playground of Icons, Archetypes, Representations of a thing that is not the thing. It can be difficult to think of films being elusive in their meaning if you’re not a film critic or film maker because film seemingly takes away any need for imagination on the part of the viewer.
If you read this tumblr blog I thank you. If you don’t then fuck you…
Film Critics are ugly, sad little trolls who were never popular in school. Unable to cope with the realities of social interaction they retreated to the cinema, a dark place well suited to the social misfit, where everyone’s attention is focused on the giant rectangle of light instead of the sad little troll tucked away in a corner. Since they spend so much time there escaping from reality they become pretty familiar with the movies. They notice that regular people seem to like them too so in a desperate attempt to belong they foist their opinions about the pictures onto the world only to be met by more derision. Because, as we all know, knowing too much about something makes you a prick. And there’s no sadder prick than the film critic because they are so unnecessary. Anyone, even a kid, can watch a movie and know if they liked it or not. So what good are they?
CGI has yet to define itself as a new color in the cinematic palette. This may not seem the case when you consider that any major blockbuster released by Hollywood is lousy with it. But let’s not take Hollywood as a guide in this instance. Instead, let’s just say that CGI is nothing more than digital matte paintings, digital make-up effects, digital animatronics and digital-digital, just to be safe.
It’s time America. Time for us to re-evaluate how we’ve been conducting ourselves for the last 30 years. By that I mean, of course, that it’s time to bring back the X-rating for films. Why? Because it’s cool. Way cooler than NC-17. But other reasons include:
Proof of Immortality - watch more funny videos
What was I on?
The Movie Draft
For those nights when you and your friends can’t seem to decide what movie to watch.
This is where I post the things we've done and you can be all like, "Whoa that's awesome!" and I'll be all like "You're right!" Now watch the movies at 51deep.com or I'll murder you.
Hi friends.
Just wanted to take a moment and...
Last night I had the honor of speaking at the LA Food Bank...
Philip Glass & Blondie mashup, “Heart of Glass” (of course).
